If you’re squeamish, stop now.

The device I once called the 3D-printer for your Johnson is back and it’s… weird. But, first things first: Autoblow, a company that has been making male sex toys for a number of years now, has come out with a brand new version of their flagship device. Called the Autoblow AI+, it’s a marked improvement over the previous versions and, dare I say it, one of the best male sex toys on the market.

Basically, this is a blowjob simulator. It uses a sleeve and grabber to stroke the penis in various permutations, from slow and steady to an almost randomized degree. The entire thing fits into a package about as big as a pair of water bottles and it is powered by a thin cable connected to a power adapter. You shan’t be taking this thing on a walk around the house if that’s what you’re thinking.

The AI controls stroke style and grip. There is a clever little web app that lets you upload new stroke styles and you can even share the app with a friend, lover, local politician, or co-worker so they can change the stroke styles remotely.

The company claims that they have assessed the stroke styles from hundreds of videos. The results, I can say, were worth the effort. The new styles, some of which verge on the “almost human” down to the workmanlike tug job. You don’t need to read the manual, either. The system is very intuitive with controls for program and tightness. You can also swap out the sleeves.

Here’s the best thing about the Autoblow AI: it is now almost silent. The previous versions sounded like some sort of weird exercise equipment as it ground away at your parts. The new device is 50% quieter and, arguably, almost silent. Further, the “AI” programs are very stimulating and each one has its own benefits. You can tease out a session for half an hour or hit the eject button at any time. It’s pretty nice.

Yep, We’re going there.

The Autoblow folks have been doing this for a long time and their $299 ($219 on sale right now) device is one of the best I’ve used. Obviously, all things must be done in moderation and this thing is no replacement for human companionship and/or love but they got quite a few things right and it’s a great way to spend a little alone time.

The Autoblow AI is a great toy. In a world where there are so few sex toy options for those with penises, this crew has taken special care to make a device that is fun, usable, and discrete. It’s not expensive and you can swap out the sleeves for some extra fun. It’s also very easy to clean – you simply pull out the sleeve – and it dries quickly. You deserve a little something something when it comes to me time. This could very well be it.

By John Biggs

John Biggs is an entrepreneur, consultant, writer, and maker. He spent fifteen years as an editor for Gizmodo, CrunchGear, and TechCrunch and has a deep background in hardware startups, 3D printing, and blockchain. His work has appeared in Men’s Health, Wired, and the New York Times.

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